WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he is “a-hundred-per-cent positive” that an F.B.I. informant infiltrated his 2016 campaign but that he has “absolutely no idea” who that mole might be.
“I’ve been trying to figure out who would have the opportunity and the motive to do something like this,” he said. “But I keep coming up empty.”
“Opportunity-wise, you’d need to be someone who’s in my inner circle and who could get close to me without raising suspicions,” he said. “But, then again, the person would have to be able to suddenly disappear for periods of…
